Night

Night
Lights
Cars
Fast moving cars

Life
Cycle
Going down
Street lamp glaring with all might
Girls. Girls on a selling spree
Neons, busy.

Dogs from the other car looking at me
People busy to go
Ambitions, fulfillment.
People going far away
Where are they going?
Saw Anna, long time no see!
Why?
Busses,
Miscarriage.
Peace.
Where are thou?

Phone, talking endless gibberish
No point talking!
Sarees, mela of colours.
All of us,
Moving.

A few years back I wrote this after being inspired by Pari without realizing what I was doing. Years later when i started reading The Love Song of Alfred J Prufrock, I got a feel for the streams of consciousness. Amazing, what a few jumbled words can do to an empty page of a blog!

Till date, this poem remains the best of my creations. And I could never better myself.

Thanks Pari.

I Crave Your Mouth, Your Voice, Your Hair

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.

[A beautiful poem by Neruda]

Imagination and Reality

I am feeling
Hurt,
Scared.
I want to
Run away.
I want to
Hide within you.

Can't you
Come out of my
Imagination?
Can't you
Become
My reality?

Can't you
Hold me within
Your arms?

Love, Desire and Madness

You don't like the noise in here,
And I don't like the silence,
It's deafening, hurts the soul.

I want to listen to the rain
Pitter-patter on the window sill,
I want to listen to the curtains
Rustle in the monsoon breeze.

I want to listen to your voice,
Hear you laugh, smile like a child.

I want you,
Madly,
Badly,
Sadly.

I want to hug you, kiss you,
Hold you in my arms until they ache.
I want to talk to you, hear your humming
Of all the weird songs in the world.

And I want to feel you,
Touch you,
See you,
Hear you,
Smell you,
Taste you.

You are trying to save your life
Or what is left of it.
I am trying to ruin it, or what
Is left it, each day, with a fight with myself.

Because I desire you,
I lust you.
Because I love you.

I am you and you are me.

And I dreamt about
Spending an evening with you,
Together in a room,
Facing the sea,
Listening to the noise of the sea.
Your head on my shoulders,
Your hands in mine.

What's love without desire,
What's love without lust,
What's love without madness.

I promise you that I would see you go off to sleep.
I promise you that I would kiss your feet.
I promise you that I would love you so much
That you would surrender to me, willingly,
Your eyes,
Your lips,
Your hands,
Your smile,
Your self, yourself.

And then you would be mine, only mine.
In body, in mind and in soul.

Prayer For A Lost Love

I saw you yesterday,
Walking down the road of memory lane.

You haven't changed, Beautiful.
Nothing has changed in your world,
In the world that we had weaved together.

Except for me,
Everything remains the same.
Except for my world.
Where now I shiver in the winter snow.

You might never know how
I died
Every minute which you left with me,
For the ones that you
Lived with me.

I spend the nights talking to strangers.

And the Stranger knew my suffering, my pain.
'Cause she saw you in my eyes,
burning me from inside.

She said women never understood
How much I loved you,
But how could you not?

She knew that I had promises to keep.
So I sang her the Scarborough Fair,
And she would sing it to you, someday.

When I am gone,
forever.

Till then,
Let me raise my voice to the chorus of
Simon and Garfunkel singing, in despair.
Let me bleed
Till I reach the last drop
Of forbidden blood in my soul.

Till then let me wait for you, in the field
Out beyond the ideas of
Wrong-doing and right-doing,
Where I ran with Rumi in my dreams.
And let me dream for a hope that,

There we will meet someday.
And then I will live with you again
And then I will love you again,

Forever.

Amen!

Numbness and Pain

It's been raining in my head
Since last night.

I was still standing
There, when you had left me
Naked, Wet, cold,
Wounded, numb, bitter

And

Unloved

Holding on to my guitar for
My dear life.

The rain,
It's not the mark of my weakness.
'Cause I have already
Emerged out stronger.
I have already emerged out
From the debris of
My ruined palace.

But the numbness,
What should I do with that?
Because now

It's the numbness that kills me,
And it's the pain that makes me feel alive.

[Welcome back home. It's been quite a while, isn't it?]

Do you believe in God?

Never did I believed in God,
'til I met you, 'till I
Fell in love with you.

Now,

Everytime I see you laugh,
Everytime I hear you smile,
Everytime I touch your tears,

You beauty, your innocence,
Your love,
Everything about you
And you yourself

Convince me all the more
That God does exist.

[Dedicated to the most beautiful woman on Earth, and beyond.]

Wings

What good would wings be
If you cannot feel the wind on your face?

Wings then will be just a bag of bones
Without any feather on it.

Then I am carrying a bag of bones,
I choose to name it strength.
But honestly I don't know what it is.
Possibly it's my madness.

And they are the remains of an old palace,
Melancholy is the feather.

And what about the pain, the numbness
And forgetting the forgotten?

The pain is like water,
Till the time it is on the leaf
It dazzles.

But does it not know how it hurts the eyes
Of the soul, the heart!

[A poem by Sandip and me.]

Love Doesn't Exist

Of Temples, Shrines and Idols

Every temple has a shrine. And every shrine, an idol.

The temple awaits the arrival of its idol. Patiently, lovingly. Without the heavenly shrine and the idol, a temple has no essence of its own. Without the shrine, the temple cease to exist.

The temple has to endure the pain of a long and endless wait for his destiny, his shrine and his idol. During this time, the temple has to journey through the seasons of mists, drought, snow and hailstorm in search of its beloved idol. The pang of loneliness looms over it with each step it takes. But it cannot stop searching, that would mean death for the temple. So it must go on, it must follow its destiny to live.

With each step towards the fabled land, the temple bleeds. It bleeds as it passes through the no man's land.

Then one day, when the temple wakes up from a deep slumber, it finds that the weather has changed into Spring. And standing in front of him would be his destiny, his idol, the mother of his shrine, the woman the possess him, the woman that owns him!

The temple holds her within himself. It stands tall around her, with all its grandeur. The shrine impregnates him with her idol. And then the temple, the shrine, and the idol embraces each other in divine love. Entangled, entwined within themselves in blissful ecstasy.

Come, sit beside me. Feel the blisters on my hands, the wounds on my heart, the bitterness of your separation in my soul. I have been waiting for you, forever. Let me hold your hand, let me touch thy feet. Sit beside me, cure my wounds, heal my soul with your blissful kiss.

Let me worship thee, my idol, with my mind, my body, my soul. Let me worship thy mind, thy body, thy soul, thy skin. Let me worship thee with my lips.

[To Ms J, the most beautiful girl in the world]

Can't You Come Back Baby?

I am living in grayscale,
Cause you are not here.

Can't you come back baby?

Can't you come back
And add
A touch of color
To my Calcutta?

I see people move around me.
I can see myself,
Moving around them.
Where I build
Sidewalk castles,
For Kings with thrones.

I am too lonely,
And blues without you baby.

Can't you come back baby,
Can't you come back to me?

I want to share my
Calcutta with you, I
Want to share my
Monsoon rain,
Those sleepless nights,
And endless coffee stains
On those nameless tables.

Those glittering evenings,
Neons hiding the pain.
Your smile,
Blurring out everyone else.

Those cold drizzle, Walking
In the Calcutta sidewalks
Holding your hands
In mine.
And Phil Collins singing
Love songs for you and me.

Can't you come back baby,
And end this wait, for that
Kiss in the rain?

Can't you come back to me?

Can't you come back to where
I want to share
Me self with you,
And I don't want to share
You with anyone.

[Can I kiss your wings Ms J?]

Love, Sex And Poetry

"Love is not the greatest glue between two people. Sex is." - An Alchemy of Desire, Tarun Tejpal

Love has become a cliche,
A reminiscent of the past.
The greatest bond of them all
Is not love but lust.

I am happier than ever now,
Your body has become
My daily bread.
Love always had my limits set to
A bottle of bourbon and,
A piece of lead.

[I promised myself not to write a poem on The Chronicles of R after I tried to give it a tech blog look, but I simply could not resist putting it here. I am guilty as charged, feel free to leave obscene comments.]

Your Feet

When I cannot look at your face
I look at your feet.
Your feet of arched bone,
Your hard little feet.
I know that they support you,
And that your sweet weight
Rises upon them.
Your waist and your breasts,
The doubled purple
Of your nipples,
The sockets of your eyes
That have just flown away,
Your wide fruit mouth,
Your red tresses,
My little tower.
But I love your feet
Only because they walked
Upon the earth and upon
The wind and upon the waters,
Until they found me.

~ Pablo Neruda

Back To Eden

At night, when everyone falls asleep,
I lie awake, looking at the sky
Through the Window of captivity,
Looking down upon us.

Infinite, limitless, gilded with stars,
Proud in it's existence,
Silent observer of myriad emotions,
Heartbreaks and heartaches.

And I think of you, imagine
Your voice coming to me from beyond
The realms of this universe,
Surreal, loving, caring, warm,
Haunting the haunted.

It makes me want you, love you.

It makes me want to destroy the last
Remnant of humanity, the fossils of
The fake religion of relationships,
The chains of the pregnant civilization,
Ready to give birth to another apocalypse.

I want to destroy them all.

I want to go back to the gardens of Eden.
I want to build the fruits
Of forbidden passion.
Where, only love remains, in it's
Guileless exuberance.

And remains the souls,
Unharmed, unmasked, unscathed, untouched,
Souls of you and me.

[Dedicated to a little girl who is the Realm of my life. She is my influence, my support and a lot more. More than I would ever understand, more than she would ever realize.]

Sometimes

Sometimes a well timed
Silence speaks
More than a thousand words.

Sometimes a pregnant pause
Is more eloquent than
A hundred well-rehearsed actors.

Sometimes I would wake up
In the morning and wish that
I was still dreaming about you.

Sometimes I would look
In the mirror and try to understand
Why I look so ugly.

Sometimes when I see you smile,
I wish that you
Could be mine, forever.

Sometimes I look at a grave
A wonder how does it feel
To be kissed by a rose.

Sometimes I listen to my
Heartbeat and think, what if
My heart could speak.

Sometimes when I am thirsty
I question my eyes, would they
Ever stop raining.

Sometimes, when I am the dwarf
In the play of life, I wish
I could kiss the hand of the Princess.

Sometimes I look up at the sky to
Watch the clouds, I would want
To break free the chains on my feet.

Sometimes when I look at your face
I pray to God, that
I could hide you in my arms.

But in the end, I think about them
And I realize.

Sometimes in the middle of an ordinary life,
Love
Gives us a fairytale.

Love Me

I want you to
Love me,
Gently.
Make me feel complete
With your
Unending passion.
Take me in your arms.
Hide me from
The world.
And then,
When my dreams
Lie shattered
On the ground, pick them up
In pieces, and mend them
For me.
I want you to
Love me,
Sweetly.

Antaheen - An Endless Journey

The phone lay on
The table.
Waiting, singularly,
Beside the half-open laptop.
A notebook,
Few scribbles.
And the Parker you used.

Except, you are not there.
You won't IM me again,
I won't receive your
Call anymore.
A dark black cloud
Has engulfed
The sleepless star of the night.

Do you remember those green
Monsoon showers?
With the leaf holding
Every drop of rain on it's edge.
The self-portrait of Frida Carlo,
How the sunlight created
A kaleidoscope of light on it?

Those unfinished conversations,
Some unspoken words.
That etched glass that separated
Dreams
From reality.
And an escape, to our dreamland
Like fantasy in the midst of reality.

I yearn to see that smile, and
To drown in those kohl laden eyes.
Am I a loner?
Am I lonely?
Or am I simply alone? Without you!
No, I am
Your boy in the box.

I am waiting, waiting
For you.
It's an endless wait, eternal.
But the journey has just begun
For me, for us.
And it is the journey of a lifetime,
Together.

[This poem is a dedication to those eternal lovers like Raat Jaga Tara and Boy In The Box in the movie Antaheen.]

Monsoon Dreams

You came out of the theater.
And so did the sudden spat of drizzle,
Out of nowhere.

We were standing in the
Middle of a crowd.
So lonely, only me and you.

I caught your glimpse,
And
I wanted to steal another.
Just one more glance, a second look.

I walked out of the shade
To drench
In the rain,
In you.
I wanted to drown in those eyes,
They know black magic.
I knew, I was under their spell.

I stretched my arms,
To hold my world, it was falling apart
With joy, in rain. I held my head high
Under the open sky.

I went upto you, saw myself in those eyes.
The stars from the sky,
They were missing. I found them.

I took your hands in mine,
We walked in the rain, your touch
Made me feel real,
It made me realize reality.

And then we danced in the soothing breeze,
We danced to the tune of the drops
Falling, dripping from your dress
Stuck to you,
I was.

And it was a dream,
A dream that would never end.

Colors of Flames

Take my hand Darling!
Let's dive into the
Depths of
The Ocean of love.

The world burns,
It burn into ashes.
And the smoke rises up,
Curls in a whirlpool of
Blue flames.

And after it ends,
We will
Rise in love, with love.

We will see the stars,
And find colors
In the black sky. We
Would fly higher and higher
Till we would
Touch the moon.

And
Sitting on top of the
Heap of bones, watch the wind
Flow into your hair,
Ruffle it in a sweet
Wave of flames.

I Want To Live

I could not choose my birth,
I cannot predict my future.
I cannot seem to elude death.
And Much of this world remains
Unseens to these eyes, much of
It's music remains unheard.
I feel helpless at times. So
Please let me live one more day
In this world, my heaven.